Yesterday morning our apartment looked like it had gone on a bender and spent all morning throwing up on itself. Today it is cleaned and holds almost no signs that we once lived here. The walls are naked, the drawers are empty, and we're even using my mother-in-law's sheets and towels. Yesterday we packed our lives into five duffel bags within the weight and size limit of the major airlines that will be responsible for our journey to our new home abroad. It's strange to pare your wardrobe down to a duffle bag of clothes and then entrust it into the hands of people who notoriously lose people's belongings. It's not as if I am going away for the weekend, that's my whole wardrobe for four years. And who knows if it will arrive in Nairobi and if it does who knows that they will give it to me without charging me more than the contents of the bag.
Clearing that obstacle has cleared my mind for about two weeks I have felt that some force has been playing keep-away with my brain. My verbal processer broke for days at a time; making me forget words and reducing me to gesticulations and frustration. I have been surprised that there are very few people that I can turn to and ask, 'Am I okay, is this normal?' Thankfully Scott's parents went before us twenty years for a similiar journey. So I have been able to turn to his mother, Miriam, and ask, 'do I take my half empty bottle of shampoo to the other side of the world?' (no, it's cheap, not worth the jet fuel) Other than that it seems that very few choose to move overseas for an extended period of time. I have also been amazed at how many people have asked us for our time or made ridiculous demands on our time, like today for instance, we drove to Bailey, which is an hour and a half away from our town of Buena Vista to sell our last car. We were asked to do this by the people who wanted to purhase the car, and they then refused to buy it because the air conditioning wasn't cold enough. So our entire afternoon that could've have been spent with our friends and family was taken away by people too selfish and short sighted to drive to our town to look at the car.
On the other hand other people have been generous, kind, and giving beyond what I could have ever expected. People I hardly know giving us donations of a lot of money. Donations that I never could have guessed would appear in little envelopes from people who were the last people I would have expected. I feel blessed beyond belief that people would give to us the way that they have. I feel that God is truly using people's generousity for us and that we are doing that we are supposed to, stepping out in faith and out faith is being blessed.
I sit here tonight waiting for tomorrow morning to come, crying periodically, knowing that I won't be able to sleep. that my mind will be rolling in fear and excitement. That I will be too afraid that I will sleep through my alarm clock to actually allow myself to actually sleep. And it's only the first of three flights over the course of a week.