And for once I was SuperMom

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

In a handbasket and I don't know why...

Earlier this week I threw away about twenty dollars worth of phone credit. Phones here are pay as you go, you go buy this many minutes, you get this many minutes. I like it, you pay for exactly what you get. The minutes are purchased in the form of lotto-like scratch cards. I scratched off the grey stuff in the car and had planned on entering the code at home where I wouldn't get car sick. When I got home I got distracted by feeding the baby and making dinner and cleaning up my now-disemboweled apartment. The next day I ran across the cards and thought they were trash and promptly put them in the trash. I realized the next morning what I had done.
I would never do something like that normally. We are moving. We have slowly started the process of packing. Day by day we deliver something that we have borrowed to its rightful owner. Or something that someone has bought. Slowly our closets are vomiting out their contents and being sold off or packed up. Slowly my carefully ordered universe is going to hell.
Not that it's really all that carefully ordered. Organization is a huge feat for me. When I was a child I lost my house keys almost daily. As a result I got very good at breaking into my own house. Eventually I got sick of that, I resolved to never lose my keys again. And I didn't. To this day I don't lose my keys. I don't lose my phone. I don't lose my ATM card. Until I make big cross continental moves or international moves. Then I revert to my 4th grade self. When I moved from Santa Barbara to Chicago I lost my ATM card and my phone. I feel like my brain gets put in one of those bags, or under one of those piles of crap to donate and I CAN'T FIND IT ANYMORE! This task of moving becomes no mean feat when you are packing up your fully loaded apartment of camping gear, baby stuff, two wardrobes of adult clothing...into eight fifty pound duffle bags that have to make from Nairobi to London, London to Denver intact is monumental and stressful at best. You have to ask are the gourds that I bought at market worth the potential overweight baggage fee? How attached am I to the clothes that I own? I think one thing that I have learned from moving overseas is that almost everything is replaceable...almost.
So here it begins or ends, another transition in my life. One of many that I have made and only one in many more to come.


kate ls said...

Found your blog via a Momversation thread. I was intrigued because my husband and I lived in Tanzania for two years and I actually applied for a position at Rosslyn, before I realized I was pregnant and we decided to move back to the US for a while. (I've actually visited Rosslyn several times. I did some recruiting for my alma mater there and I have good friends that grew up at Rosslyn and RVA.)
From skimming through the last couple of blog entries, it sounds like you are returning to the US. Furlough or for good? How long have you been in Kenya?
We miss East Africa but are slowly adjusting to life here in PA. I'm going back to school for a Master's degree this coming fall and my husband will enroll next year. After that, we want to head overseas again.
Anyway, now that I'm commenting, I'm not quite sure what to say... blessings on the move and maybe if we DO head to Rosslyn one day, we'll run into you sometime.

kate ls said...

At the risk of sounding creepy, I noticed on your Blogger profile that you follow Sandy's Thatch-Work, too. And since you mentioned studying in Tanzania for the semester... were you by any chance on the Houghton program? I did the program when I was in college, as well, and then my husband and I went back as program staff for two years (2006 - 2008).
Where will you be, State-side?
Yes, I feel like I could pursue an endless string of Master's degrees, too. The one I am actually enrolled in is a Master's in International Affairs here at Penn State. My other passion is English literature. Maybe that's something I can attain in another decade...
Funny that we should connect via Momversation. I always forget to check back for new videos but when I do, they are often thought-provoking. Have been wrestling with the question of whether or not I am where I thought I'd be... Have always wanted to be a mother but, since having Anna, have struggled with issues of identity. There's still a part of me that needs stimulation outside the home, I think, but now that I have a daughter, it is not so easy to leave her. She'll be in part-time daycare next year while I go back to school. I am giving myself the summer to reconcile all of these emotions!
Blessings on the move back...