Valentine's Day was quite awhile ago, I know that, but this just shows you how often soemthing stews in my brain before I get the opportunity to actually write it. Every time that particular holiday of hearts rolls around I remember my single days. Those days where that particular holiday only produced irritation and some snarky diatribe how it was only created by Hallmarkd to sell cards, and it may be that that is true.
I remember a moment in those days, as I was walking into Trader Joe's I paused in front of the display of roses and thought to myself, 'maybe someday [sniff, sniff], someone [sniff, sniff], will buy me a bouquet.' Then I walked into the store. The next time that happened, I paused in the middle of my sniffing, and thought, 'Ah, Dammit, I'm gonna buy my own damn flowers!' And I did. And I never looked back.
Now that I'm married I look back on those days and wish that I could have enjoyed them more. I wish that I hadn't spent them wishing to be in another stage of life. Here are things I wish I had known before getting married and then having kids:
1. On Valentine's Day buy your own flowers and chocolates instead of relying on crazy mind reading games that you play on your husband. "No honey, I don't need flowers, we can't really afford anything like that right now." And really in your head on that PARTICULAR you still really want him to walk in that door holding some roses. We are a bit crazy.
2. Take a really long baths and showers, all the time, whenever you want. Because you won't always get to do that.
3. Don't shave, just don't, I mean really, why?
4. Take the time to explore who you are and what you love. I actually did that, and it was the best thing I ever could have ever done for me.
5. Eat weird dinners. You just may have years of meal planning ahead of you.
6. Buy a random plane ticket.
Every time I encounter another person in Facebook that I have lost track of a little pang of jealousy arrises in my heart. I mean, of course it does, we're all guilty of Gloatbooking. I only post the cute pictures of my kid, I don't post the one where she is melting down because she hasn't had her nap yet. I look at my single friends pictures of their great parties, weekends in Vegas, and awesome careers and I feel jealous. Then I realise they just might be jealous of me. We all want what we can't have. Right?
I just wish that I had taken the time to enjoy each stage of life as it came, instead of wishing for something else. I think that I have been able to enjoy Emma at each stage and not wish for the next to come or reminisce about the past stage. Hopefully I can learn my lesson and enjoy everything as it comes.