And for once I was SuperMom

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Like It or Love It

When we were in Kosovo we hung out for a day with a girl from Romainia. She was living and working in Kosovo, I asked her if it was hard,
"For me life is not hard or easy. It just is. If it goes well I am happy," was her response. You can almost hear the Eastern European accent, can't you? At first I was surprised at her answer, and thought I should be saddened by it. Then I really wasn't. I thought, 'how freeing.' Life just is and if it goes well I am happy. What a relief to not have to fight life all the time and strive for happiness. To just take it as it comes and if bad things happens, well that's life.
Some may think that it's grim acceptance, but what if it's just acceptance.

I remember hearing once that Buddhists believe that suffering is our only guarantee in life. I think so many of us believe that happiness is a right, well, actually our constitution tells us it is. Is it though? What gives us the right to insist that we be happy all the time? I think that may be the source of so much sadness. We believe that we should be happy so when things don't go our way we are doubly sad. I have discovered that often things don't go my way. Sometimes I can make sense of it, like that boy I had a huge crush on that I was destined to marry? Turned out to be a jerk and my husband that I have now is perfect for me. Other things? Like a miscarriage. Will never make sense.

I haven't been asked my too many New Englanders if I like it here yet. But I have thought about it, do I like it here? I think had I moved here from Southern California I don't think I would like it. It's humid, there's a winter to be dealt with, the beaches aren't [sigh] the same. Fortunately though I moved around a lot in the past few years and realized that there is life outside of Southern California. The more I move the more I realize that nowhere is perfect. In Southern California the weather is boring and there are too many people. In Chicago the winter is harsh and there is nothing fun and outdoorsy (not super fun to go hiking in corn fields). In Colorado the winter is long, and well, the winter is long. Which if you love to ski that is awesome, but if you love to hike, as I do, that's not so awesome.

So do I like it here? I don't know that I have the luxury of liking it or not. We are here. Indefinitely. So I might as well dig in and enjoy what I can find to enjoy. There are beaches, trails, lakes, and ponds. There is convenient shopping and coffee shops. Having the ocean so close I would have taken for granted had I moved directly from Southern California. Having convenient shopping I would have taken for granted had I not lived in Buena Vista. Having fun outdoorsy things I would have taken for granted had I never lived in Chicago. Funny how life prepares you to end up where you are.


Traci said...

yeah, life is funny that way isn't it. I am back where I started life... well sort of... and it just feels different. Take each day for what it is... I like that idea.

Julie Little said...

This is really true, Lara. Thanks for sharing. We are all so entitled. I've been reading a lot of Paul's words about suffering and sacrifice being our way to participate in the joy that is life with Christ. It seems so backwards, and yet when I look back, I see that my richest times with God came out of my times of deepest discouragement. Why wouldn't we want to do what draws us most completely to Him? Mostly it's fear. I think I'm learning to let go of the fear, at least a little. I miss seeing you...wish we could have hung out more while you were here.

Carrie Rostek said...

So true Lara. My husband and I have lived in Nevada, Arizona, Florida and now Texas. Each preparing me for the next. I would have despised Texas had I come straight from San Diego. However, after living in Orlando, Texas isn't so bad. :)
Glad you're doing well.

Katie Coons said...

are you at Gordon indefinitely? I have some friends and family around.. I think a cousin of mine is attending there next year I'd love to hook you up with!