And for once I was SuperMom

Sunday, June 5, 2011

What I Look Forward To

Here we sit in a hotel in Scranton, PA (yes, we choose to stay here because of The Office), in the dark waiting for Emma to fall asleep.
I haven't narrated the journey because really what would I write? We sat in a car today. We sat in a car again today. It's not very interesting. We went from the Rocky Mountains to the plains, across the plains for a very long time (I think the Midwest must the largest region of our country), and now are in the gentle hills of the east.
Tomorrow is our last and final day of driving. It's taken us four days to get to here from Buena Vista, CO. It will take us another five to six hours to get to Wenham, MA tomorrow.

What I notice this time are the little things of moving. I am used to my stuff being scattered into boxes, duffle bags, and suitcases. I am used to feeling like I've been launched forward into the future, somehow in these moments life seem to go into fast foward, all the day to day stops and LIFE is here, big decisions are made and you put things on hold and GO FORTH. I'm used to traveling and eating out of fast food restaurants, dancing around the menu, trying to avoid the things that are going to make me fat and then ordering the things I actually want to eat. I am used to my mild contempt for truck stops and convenience stores. I am used to travelling with Emma: snacks, a basket of books next to her high chair, spilling juice on my lap as I water it down for her, the pac 'n play shuffle, putting her to bed and hiding in the dark until she stops screaming. This time it's the little things, like changing the time zone setting on our computer, the humidity change in the air, the taste of the water, these are the things that I am noticing now. The things that haven't come yet, like the first time I get a call on my phone from within my new area code. What time my favorite television show is on.
I'm excited to explore a new place. To figure out where the grocery stores are, the coffee shops, the library, to find new running trails and paths. I'm excited to live in a place with actual shopping. Kenya didn't have much to offer and neither did Buena Vista.
And I'm nervous. What if I hate it? I know that it will be flatter than Colorado, and colder than California, warmer than Chicago, and more developed than Kenya but what will it really be? Will I like the culture? Will I like the people?

So tomorrow when I drive in to my new home what will I feel? In so many other moves I was so excited for what lay ahead (school, a new country) that I was just eager to land, this time it's just life. Scott will work (albeit in a job that he will love) and I will stay at home. This may be where we stay for long term, will I love it enough to be able to live there permanently? The trouble with having lived in so many places, is that I know that nowhere is perfect. Wenham won't have the muscular mountains and great hiking of Colorado. It won't have the great weather of Southern California, it will have beaches but will they compare to what I grew up with? What will it have?

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