Last night I took a bath. I laid there in the water and instead of lumbering up onto my elbows and grabbing the book that I had rested on the edge of the bath I just sat there and thought. This happens a lot to me in baths, I take a book with good intentions and then just plunge into the recesses of my brain.
I recently read a blog where a fellow writer was asking women about women and power. She stated that feminine power looks differently than male power. In America we have been asked to behave like men to get ‘ahead’ in life, acting aggressively and often getting us labeled as ‘bitches’ rather than just strong.
As I lay there on my back looking at the rise of my monstrous belly I saw the thump and divot of the kick of my unborn daughter and thought,
‘Um, that’s kind of powerful.’
Why is it so powerful?
It’s the one thing we can do that men cannot. I have had a quite a few men get angry at me when I have told them that they cannot relate to pregnancy and childbirth. I have sincerely thought about pregnancy and tried to relate it to other processes my body has gone through, and really there is no equivalent. I have wanted to rail at those men and yell,
‘Get Out!’ This is our domain. In a world where men make higher salaries, make decisions, and seem to still rule over women pregnancy and childbirth is ours.
(Yes, I think husbands and fathers should be present at the birth…I have my misgivings about male OBGYN’s, though.)
I have had friends tell me of the power they have felt when breaking their own membranes during birth. Other friends who have never felt stronger when they let loose a guttural roar and pushed their child out into the world.
Think about how many royal family dynasties have been lost because of the inability to produce an heir.
Think about marriages that have been ripped apart because of infertility to different desires in creating a family.
Think about friends you have known who have been devastated when they couldn’t have children.
Think about friends you know who have been elated after years of trying to get pregnant and finally did.
This is indeed powerful. The world could not go on if we ceased to have children. We hold that key. We are the ones with wombs.
Soaking in the tub allowing the warm water to cradle my heavy body and soothe my aching back I thought that maybe just maybe when I’m at the time in my life when I feel the weakest and the most compromised that is when I am at my most powerful.