And for once I was SuperMom

Monday, June 11, 2012

Beauty Tips for New Moms

I saw this headline the other day: Hide Tired Eyes!  Eagerly I read it, because everyone from the postal worker to the doctor's receptionist is asking me if I am tired.  Of course I usually have a newborn attached to me and a two year swirling about my ankles so one can infer that I would be tired, but I always think,
'Oh crap.  I look worse than I thought I did.'
I have read a lot of these articles lately, there are a lot of them, especially ones written for mothers.  It seems not many people are getting enough sleep.  Especially mothers.
They've included such useful tips as:
1.  Wear mascara, concealer, and blush.  I do that, and apparently it's not working.
2.  Keep spoons in the freezer and apply them to your eyes (one article helpfully told you to make sure that they were closed) for ten minutes each morning.  If I had time to do that I wouldn't be so tired.
3.  The above advice was also given with cucumbers and tea bags.  I think I would rather use them for food.
The list goes on including various tips on makeup application, again if I had that much time to spend on putting on eye shadow I wouldn't be this tired.

So I thought about real tips for new moms:
1.  Carry a nursing cover that matches your outfit. That way when your child pops off and milk covers your front you can wear the cover like a shawl and pretend that it's all on purpose.
2.  Instead of your normal contacts opt for horn rimmed glasses.  They do wonders for covering up dark circles under the eye.  Because you are actually putting an object in front of that puffy and unfortunate half moon.
3.  A baby carrier is a practical way to hide that postpartum belly pooch.  Not to mention spit up or drool that is smeared across your front.
4.  Baby barfed on your shoulder?  Ran out of clean shirts?  Hide it with a quick swirl of a scarf.
5.   Don't wear white pants until your children are in college.
6.  Don't leave the house.  Then no one has to know.
7.  In a combination of home decorating tip and beauty tip you can cover your mirrors with beautiful patterned fabric.  Don't remove until your child is six months old.

I know that people are trying to be understanding when they tell me that I look tired or ask if I am tired, I know that.  But it certainly doesn't help.  So if I show up still obviously wearing maternity clothes, with frizzy hair, with spit up on my shoulder, and my concealer failing just pat me on the back, tell me I look wonderful and offer to hold my baby.
Oh, and tell me my baby is cute.
That helps too.


Nissa said...

Haha! I think I actually do all that when I see you..,and I REALLY mean it! :-)

Kay Bream said...

Great tips you got there! But for moms who really want to get rid of that tired look, they really need to get enough rest and sleep. Lay off the stressful routine for a while.