And for once I was SuperMom

Friday, July 26, 2013

Home Sweet Home

Yesterday we bought a house.
After a seven month process of haggling, negotiating, trying to decide 'what I really want,' we signed a stack of papers and our real estate agent gave us some keys.
The lawyer announced,
"That was a crazy stack of papers," picked them up and tapped them into order.  O.A.R.'s lyrics, 'that was a crazy game of poker, I lost it all,' turned into, 'that was a crazy stack of papers, I bought it all,' starting running through my head.  I wanted to say something about it to lighten the air, but I couldn't remember the name of the song.
People kept asking me how I felt yesterday.  Mostly I just felt tired.  Numb, maybe?  There seemed not much fanfare.  Should we go break a bottle of champagne against the vinyl siding?  Should we at least go out to lunch?  We couldn't decide on a place to go, and mostly my stomach was still digesting our very large dinner from last night.  We went back to campus, collected our children, ate leftovers and went on with our day.
My husband said,
"I think we're contractually obligated to take a picture of ourselves holding the keys and post it to Facebook."  So later that day we did.  46 likes later and an ecard I'm feeling a bit more real.
Scott asked me how I felt when our day was done, dinner cooked, the kids in bed, and poking away at our respective electronic devices.
"It doesn't feel real, and part of me feels like we just a big mess," the house is a hundred years old, and, well, needs some work.  During the last walk through I kept thinking about what clothes I had in my wardrobe that I could completely ruin with paint scraping and rug tearing up.
We stood looking at the backyard that had gone to seed,
"I want to start mowing now,"  Scott said.  Good, because that pile of plants makes my head spin.  He keeps looking at me and saying,
"We're going to have a lot of decisions to make, and we're going to have make them soon."  Like a warning shot.  I might be the most indecisive person to walk the planet.  Might be.  I have been itching to decorate a house for years.  Now faced with a thousand decisions I might short out.
I still can't believe that I can be this blessed, to own our own home.  To have a place that I can finally paint, a place that we can call our home for a long time.  To be 'settled,' to have a town that we can sink our teeth into, to have neighbors for years rather than months.


Stepping into Motherhood said...

Congrats! It is overwhelming though. We just bought a home in February and as excited as I was to finally be in an area where we could settle and raise our kids, the chaos and unsettlement that you feel in your gut or that sense of unbalance, whatever the strangeness is, still hasn't gone away. If you need a supportive ear hope you know where to find me.
Angela @ Time with A & N

Stepping into Motherhood said...

Congrats. Buying a new home can be overwhelming though so I understand your conflicting feelings.
Angela @ Time with A & N