Super

Super
And for once I was SuperMom

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Relax

I recently read a blog the other day calling for a death to the 'play date.'  The father writing it hated the lack of spontaneity and the implied need to provide planned snacks or crafts for the children involved.  All of this leaving moms and dads a little to intimidated to get together.
Right now as a mom to two little ones the play date has become my life line.  The only way I get to know other moms and provide age appropriate social interaction.  I understand the intimidation factor.  I've been to houses where the mom has prepared non-GMO gluten free wholesome snacks for the children, as well as the parents.  Or where she has whipped a lovely pre-planned and educational craft for the children to engage in.  I have found that some of those friendships have floundered, because I can't keep up.
I think there is something very real to this.
I know that many times women do not extend invitations to their homes because they perceive that their houses aren't clean enough, or cute enough.  They think that the food that they feed their families isn't politically correct enough.  What will she think?  They ask themselves.
We are also so sensitive to individual preferences that we are afraid to interact with each other.  Are they gluten free?  Do they drink out of plastic glasses?  Will the children play with our toys?

Have we gone stark raving mad?

Do you know what I've noticed about all of these issues?
Children do not care.
My daughter is just happy to have a play mate.  Do you know what she cares about?  If the other child shares their toys.  If they pretend to be bad guys and scare her.  Basically if your child is nice to her she will play with them.  That is all she cares about.
Building my village has become more of a pressing issue in my head lately, because of her desire to have play dates all the time.  When we spent those long afternoons in our house while her little sister naps, she is just begging to be played with, something that I am no longer good at.  My ability to play 'princess' has long since left me.  I'm not a good play mate.  I hope that I'm a good mother; play mate...probably not.  At least for now.
There's a mental shift that needs to begin taking place.  A relaxing.  A letting go of expectations.  Mostly for yourself.  When I'm invited over to someone home I don't expect to be served gloriously prepared snacks.  I don't expect a perfectly clean house.  I don't expect politically correct toys that are all organized.  I just want someone to chat with me and children to play with mine.
That's all I really want.  And the end of the day isn't that all you really want as well?  Do we need to spend all this time trying to impress each other?
Building relationships is more important than perpetuating the Home Maker of the Year facade.  Time to throw out the pearls and the aprons and admitting that we run around in ripped yoga pants all day long.
At least on some days....

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